Honesty is a life changing policy

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I took this selfie today while my dogs were eating. I had just woken up from a post seizure nap and flopped on the floor to feed them. I wasn’t going to post anything but this photo was so beautifully honest and raw, I had to. This picture shows my sadness, my weakness, my frustration, my real and beautiful self.
Yesterday I went hiking with my husband, friends, and our dogs. Today I’m sitting on the floor, weak and in pain from another seizure.
But all I can think of is a song by India Arie called Break the Shell.
“Child it’s time to break the shell
Life’s gonna hurt but it’s meant to be felt
You cannot touch the sky from inside yourself
You cannot fly, until you break the shell”

I know I personally have a thick shell from a lot of pain but today, in the midst of my post seizure recovery, I know it’s starting to break. After years of wrestling with PTSD and NES and other incurable diseases while being shunned and ignored, I finally feel like freedom is around the corner. Healing is going to claim another layer of me soon.

I have been afraid to share the pain religion inflicted on me, but also the joy YHWH poured into me. The healer that knows me better than I know myself and loves me through it all. The wisdom and understanding I cling to to get through days like today. Maybe it’s time to break that shell too?

Do you have a shell that needs breaking too before you feel like you are who you were meant to be?

Until next time,
KELLY ANN

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