finding focus

I was an unofficial foster parent when I was 23 to my oldest niece. Unofficial because I received no financial aid and bore the full brunt of having a 13 year old dependent. It was not the hardest thing I have ever done.

Everyone thought I was in over my head and made sure to tell me frequently. That was the hardest part. The judgment people around us projected onto us. I didn't mind our tempers rising, her fits when I told her no, or the sessions we had after every outburst to talk it out when we both calmed down. I didn't mind the 11-16 hours work days I had to do to put a roof over our heads or spending the summer homeschooling her so she could pass the seventh grade. I didn't even mind that I had to wash our clothes in the bathtub with a washboard because I couldn't afford the laundromat every week and put food in the kitchen. I didn't mind because of the movie nights, conversations, hikes, and adventures that we shared. All the sweet moments, true friends, and the beauty of nature that we got to experience together. If I focused on all the pitying comments and lack of support from people that were around me, it could have been the hardest season of my life, but I didn't. I focused on things like this flower. I focused on the fleeting moments that made it all worth it.
I, who struggles with non-epileptic seizures, Porphyria and Otosclerosis did this. I want to tell you that no matter what is going on in your life, the key is always in acknowledging and cherishing the good.

Thank you specifically to Rachel Massinghill, the Hull family and April Green. You were all pivotal to making our year manageable.