am I really as limited as they say?

"Mental Problems," and "Panic Attacks," are labels that limit and frustrate us. Us, being me and anyone like me who has been taught that we are, in fact, limited. I say "taught" because I have fought  this teaching tooth and nail and limb my whole life in order to achieve what I want.

Remember everyone asking you what you wanted to be when you "grow up" and having to research colleges and majors in high school? Well, I studied and explored my options and was excited about my conclusion. However, when I went to an adult in my life and told her, she told me I wouldn't be able to handle it. Without hesitation. When I came to my own defense she continued to shoot it down. 

She was right at the moment, but not because my anxiety wouldn't have been able to deal. She was right because no one believed I could do anything. The fact of the matter is that because I had mental problems there wasn't a single adult in my life that believed I could "do whatever I put my mind to." They told me what to put my mind to with their preconceived ideas on what I'd be able to "handle." Therefore, I didn't believe I could do it and so, of course, I couldn't.

Do I regret my choices? No, I had a great college career despite all the immense struggles with NES and Porphyria. The above picture is genuine joy on a road trip to New York state with my roommates at the time. No, I have no regrets but I have a lot to grieve. 

What would happen if we all expected ourselves and those around us to excel no matter what physical, mental or emotional "limitations" we appear to have? What if the only limitations we have are being told we can't when we can? Granted, there are things I will not do. I will not do anything that requires great math skills because I still count on my fingers and toes. However, if I wanted to do it, what if I could? 

If you are suffering from mental problems, start asking yourself what you want to do without telling yourself you can't. If you know someone suffering from mental problems, don't doubt them before they even attempt something. Believe that they can set their mind to good things and achieve good things. 

I may decide one day that I want to revisit that old dream of mine and go back to school, or I may not. Either way, those years of oppression that I faced when no one believed in the potential I wanted to reach are behind me. I may have changed my course to suit their advice but I graduated with a Bachelor's degree, started a music career, toured across country, released two albums, am working on my third one and own a bar and music venue with my husband. I did what I set my mind to do and will continue to do it.

Now, I am here to tell you that you can too. 

Don't believe everything you are told,

Kelly Ann.