Religion hurt. Religious people hurt worse. There were always gems, of course. Genuine people that were an absolute blessing. But the bad and misguided outweighed the good in my life. I have a Bachelor's degree in Ministry Praxis, having studied Theology, Ancient Greek, Ancient Hebrew, and Pastoral Care. I was an intern as a Pastor's assistant and a TA for my Bible Professor. I worked as a youth pastor for two churches. I was a worship leader. I've seen people healed right in front of me. Prayed over someone having an asthma attack, unable to breathe, and watched it subside before my very eyes. I've met prophets and intercessors to be reckoned with, and been one myself. But abuse and abandonment followed me wherever I went. The straw that broke my camel's back was a woman sending me awful emails every Sunday because her husband side hugged me. When she wrote, "your very presence causes me to stumble," I was done. She gave me no choice. I caused ...
I remember one particular seizure in college that started teaching me how to deal with my non-epileptic seizures. At the time, my college shared a building with a church. There was a full sized couch in one of our practice rooms (it was a music college) that doubled as a nursery. I often went to that room when I felt a seizure coming on so I could lay down safely and not repeatedly hit my head on a hard floor. This particular day my blood pressure tanked out of the blue during my seizure. So I was laying on the couch, completely paralyzed and lightheaded, with beads of sweat lightly covering me. My heart rate dropped and I remember asking God to kill me right then and there. I was ready. I was so tired. Very clearly, it was like someone whispered next to my ear, "not yet." I remember crying angry tears then. It was all I could do. Then someone found me, turned on the light, and asked if I was ok. I couldn't answer but for a few quiet, stuttered word...
April 28, 2013 I couldn't wait to see Henry, but when we walked in he was more excited to see Abby than me. Even after she left he gave me the cold shoulder for a couple days. To top that off, after not seeing him for 2 months, his hair was shaved off and I hardly recognized him! (This probably didn't help the reunion). So before he warmed up to me, he warmed up to my clean laundry (as you can see below) and only then decided that he still loved me. Sadly, I had to leave him again that weekend to pick up my new (used) car in Auburn and play a gig in Reno. Poor dog. I stayed a couple of nights with my friends in Auburn and played at an open mic night for fun. T hen, to conclude the adventures of my tour, I drove off in my white 2002 VW Passat on May 9 . Thank you Mike Zunich and Kelly Roberts for saving my music career! ...Or at least the gigs I have scheduled for the rest of this year. I now have cruise control for the first time EVER, plus a sunroo...
Comments